Infidelity Expert Stephany Alexander

Infidelity Expert Advice and Articles

Unfaithful Men: Why Unfaithful Men Fall for the Fantasy of Infidelity April 21, 2009

Unfaithful Men Infidelity

Unfaithful Men Infidelity

Some men are unfaithful because they crave intimacy and cannot find it. Others simply lack self-control, ethics and good sense. Ironically, many men tend to use sex as a getaway route from their problems. Unless men can learn to communicate their needs verbally, instead of sexually, the charge of infidelity, which causes about 20 percent of marriage breakdowns, seems likely to continue according to recent findings from the website morphogenesis.

Selfishness is also another very big indicator of the level of devotion of a man. A selfish person does not care about the feeling of others and that behavior is displayed in an unfaithful situation.  Selfish behavior stems back from early adolescent days, when selfishness is thought be developed.

Unfaithful men cover all demographics, nationalities and incomes.  We can take the examples of some celebrity males who have been unfaithful to their partners such as Hugh Grant who cheated on Elizabeth Hurley, Eric Benet who cheated multiple times with multiple partners on Halle Berry and Tommy Lee who was notorious for cheating on Heather Locklear. In fact, celebrities and wealthy men may be more likely to cheat than regular men because of their increased opportunities, power and ego.

From an early age men are taught to be disconnected from their internal feelings. Women are also socialized to expect men to be strong and in control. According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies survey of 650 divorced men and women — Towards Understanding the Reasons for Divorce, — 20 per cent said infidelity was the main cause for their marriage breakdowns but it came third on the list of reasons given for divorce, after communication problems and incompatibility. At the same time, men very rarely find the comfort they are seeking through affairs.
Those who try counseling say that extramarital sex only compounds their feelings of guilt, isolation and despair, which often lead to depression. Those starved of intimacy at home occasionally develop sex addictions, in the same way that bulimics binge harder, with zero relief. The cheater, like the bulimic, is desperately trying to fill an emotional void. Women are fortunate in that they are able to find satisfying emotional connections through networks of friends as well as a deep, physical and emotional intimacy through their children, predominantly newborns and toddlers. But in our man-as-pillar society, sex is the only way men can achieve emotional closeness. Having more sex can become a desperate search to fill that gap.

In a fidelity poll of over 770 women conducted by, over 60% of women believed that emotional affairs lead to physical affairs.  In a similar WomanSaver’s infidelity poll of over 1,000 women, 56% felt that online affairs constituted infidelity.  Therefore, even if a man doesn’t take off his pants, most women seemed to feel that emotional cheating is just as bad as physical cheating.

When someone is unfaithful, in the heat of the moment, that person does not think at all of the consequences or how the partner might feel as a result of their unfaithful actions.  It is the commitment and the level of respect for yourself and your partner that determines if there will be less chances of infidelity in a relationship. Through open communication, respect and caring of their partner’s feelings, a man will be able to resist the temptation to flirt with that beautiful girl at work.